- We need to build up Kieran saving the woman more
- We need to show that he is lacking confident more
- How are we going to show his lack of power?
- Include more shots about how he feels rather than the mise – en – scene
- We need to show more reaction to the issues
- Need to show how he’s grown after he saved the woman – more reaction from him
- Don’t need the dialogue of the woman on the phone, its unnecessary.
- Need to be more creative with the shots of Kieran in the bed at the beginning
- If he’s panicking include some noises
- In scene 2, show how he is less powerless, a loner, isolated
- Delete ‘Sorry I’m not there for you’ – sounds like she’s passed away
- The accident happens to quickly, we need to build it up more
***NEED TO FILL THE HOLES.
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